132. Can't you take a compliment?!

If you feel awkward or uncomfortable taking a compliment, this is the episode for you! I share a powerful reframe which means you will never shy away from receiving a compliment again. I also offer two practical things you can do every day to get way better at taking praise.

You are so amazing!

I am totally blown away by your talent.

You are changing the world for the better just by being you.

And did I mention how god damn hot you look today.

Did this make you feel super uncomfortable?

Do you not know how to react or what to say when someone gives you a compliment?

Can’t you take a compliment?

That’s what episode 132 of That Voice Podcast is all about.

I used to be terrible at taking compliments, which is weird because my love language is totally words of affirmation and I crave praise and recognition as much as the next person.

If you’re listening to this and you haven’t reviewed this podcast or ever shared it on socials – ouch, I feel that abandonment.

So yeah, I was so bad at taking a compliment. I would tend to brush it off or downplay it.

Sal you spoke so well and I’d reply oh yeh it went ok I think.

Or I’d deflect the compliment with a yeh, BUT

“That dress looks amazing!” Yeh, bUT you have to iron it and it’s shit to travel with.

Or I’d argue with the compliment -

Like Sal your hair looks great today and I’d reply with are you kidding I haven’t even washed it.

I can’t believe I used to be like that. And I wasn’t alone. Research shows that while 88 per cent of people feel valued with recognition, nearly 70 per cent also ‘associate embarrassment or discomfort with the process of being recognised.” Interesting

If you brush off, downplay, argue, deflect or just feel super uncomfortable getting a compliment, this is the episode for you.

I’m going to share with you a reframe which means you will never shy away from receiving a compliment again.

And I’m going to share with you two practical things you can do every day to improve your compliment receiving skills.

This is something I also touch on in my Fear to Fierce online course. This course takes you through 12 transformational exercises to help you BELIEVE, FEEL, DECLARE and CLAIM your fierce. In other words I take you through mind, body, voice and goal setting exercises to increase your confidence, clarify your identity and have a whole lot of fun – there’s some pretty wild stuff in there.

AND because I love you – even if you haven’t reviewed the podcast – use the code FIERCE for a massive 65% off. I will link in the shownotes. It is a fundamental course, there’s a reason that my high ticket clients must go through this too.

Ok are you ready to learn how to take a compliment.

Now it’s worth saying that YOU get to decide what a compliment is.

If you’re a woman I am sure you’ve experienced the lovely Hey sweetheart nice skirt and that lovely man in his head probably believed he was giving you a compliment not harassing you.

Fuck you very much is an authorised response for that. According to the Book of Sally.

Now the other ones are insults veiled as compliments.

You know the whole “Wow, Brave dress, I could never pull that off.” NOT a compliment.

Today we’re talking about those pure, well-intentioned compliments.

And when we brush off, deflect, disagree with, downplay… it’s like someone has spent ages choosing a present, carefully and beautifully gift-wrapping it for you. Handing it over with two hands and a smile. How good is gift giving?!

Not taking that compliment is like snatching that beautifully wrapped present and chucking it out the window right in front of the person who gave it to you.

You feel embarrassed and awkward and they feel like shit.

And you know what, they probably won’t dish out many more compliments after that because they know the reception they get and that creates a ripple effect of a world with less kindness and praise.

So if someone offers you a beautiful present – accept it graciously.

Now I know in Australia especially we love a bit of self deprecation and being humble, so here’s a couple of generic phrases you can say.

Compliment comes in….

Aw thank you, I really appreciate you saying that.

Or compliment comes in …

Wow thank you for noticing, I worked really hard on this.

Or compliment comes in.

Thank you, you are so kind.

Common word being thank you – no sign of the word BUT – unless the compliment is about your butt and I’m sure there are only a couple of people in your life who can get away with that.

So how good is that reframe.

Receive the gift graciously, it’s an energy transfer, absorb it and allow both people to enjoy the moment.

Now here are the two things you can do to get better at taking a compliment.

The first one is to give them.

There are so many beautiful people in the real and online world that we’re associating with every day. If your coffee is amazing, let the barista know that you value what they do. If you see a post online that really resonates, comment and say thank you I love those words. And I know not everyone will agree with this, for me I love complimenting women on their style. Oh I love your shoes. That dress is something else. The shock and delight that comes across their face is so worth it.

And for added benefit did you know that when we speak highly of others, their perception of us automatically goes up!

So if you write a testimonial, share something on social with nice words, that person will think more highly of your abilities even if they have no evidence of that.

If you write a nice review of the podcast, my perception of you will increase even if I’ve never met you. Wild hey.

So give more compliments to others.

And secondly, give more compliments to yourself.

Stand in front of the mirror daily and compliment yourself.

Wow you have a gorgeous face.

Your kindness is shining through.

You were blessed with amazing boobs.

And say things you believe.

Another study, I’m coming out with all the academics today – shoot me a message if you want the references, I won’t bore you with them now. This study from 2010, so it was a while ago, but I reckon it still stands. It revealed that people with low self-esteem struggle to accept compliments because they doubt their sincerity and assume they’re being patronised.

So we want to give compliments to ourself to build up self esteem.

If you look in the mirror and you cannot find a single thing to compliment yourself about.

Know that you are beautiful, you are enough, your voice matters.

And I’d highly encourage you to take action to repair your self esteem and practice self love.

Fear to Fierce is ideal. You can do the course in your own time and I guarantee by the end you will have compliments for yourself rolling off the page.

Alright you beautiful gorgeous human.

You’re all set to go out there accept compliments and give compliments, especially to yourself.