143. Why you should rate your speaking PG

This is up there as the fastest fix I know for public speaking anxiety - rate your speaking PG. It's not what you might think. This episode explains what the P and G stands for. It's an excerpt from a talk I gave last week, so you also get a glimpse into my speech writing style and delivery.

Hello Hello!

Welcome to episode 143 of That Voice Podcast… Why you should rate your speaking PG.

Now that title may have piqued your interest, especially if you follow me on socials and you’re like Sal you don’t strike as the conservative type I thought you’d be all up for racy content … and you’re not far off.

The PG is an initialism to help you remember two very important words that are the fastest fix I know for public speaking-related anxiety.

And little aside for the English and grammar enthusiasts here, an initialism is when a word is pronounced as the letters, like PG, ATM, FBI. And an acronym is when the letters make a whole new word like ASAP or LOL, even the words RADAR and LASER for example are acronyms.

Ok so PG is an initialism, and this is why you should rate your speaking PG.

Now this was one of the points I shared in a talk I gave at the Growing Leaders event in Brisbane last week. And as I was thinking about this podcast I tossed up whether I just talk freely through the point, or whether I speak it pretty much as I did the other night.

And I’ve decided to leave it in “speech” format, so you can hear how my style is different when I’m speaking to a live audience as opposed to having a yarn with you on the old podcast.

There are a couple of bits which refer to earlier bits of the speech – namely my dad dying and also my troubled romance with someone who told me he was a doctor which was a dubious claim and I think that’s about it. If something doesn’t make sense then it refers back to something earlier.

So you’ll hear the difference in my language and my voice. As I’m recording here in my office late on a Thursday night it won’t be quite the vocal impact of being on stage – that would also blow out the audio on the mic. But you’ll get the idea.

Another thing that happened on Tuesday night. I met a beautiful woman who told me she followed me on socials and liked my stuff and I asked why she’d never DM’d me and she said she didn’t want to bother me and assumed I was super busy and had a lot of people in my DM’s.

The truth is, I would love to hear from you in my DM’s either on Instagram @sallyprosservoice or on LinkedIn. And week after week I see hundreds of downloads coming in for this podcast and rarely anyone reaching out to give any feedback. So I do feel like I’m voicing into the void a little here. So if you listen to the podcast and you learn something or just enjoy it. Please be that person and reach out. And you know what, as a bit of added incentive this week. If you do DM me and mention this podcast episode, or share a story and tag me @sallyprosservoice then I will send you a free meditation designed to balance your chakras before speaking.

It's one of the meditations in my Speak from your Soul course, which starts on Feb 19 – so doors close Feb 18. If you get nervous before you speak, your voice does weird things and you totally forget what to say. Maybe you run out of breath or speak in a monotone or just overthink the whole thing and work yourself up and then when it’s over beat yourself up. Then you have to join Speak from your Soul. In 2023 it is time to rewrite your speaking story. This course includes the exact strategies, mindset reframes and practical exercises that will have you speaking with so much confidence, whether that be on social media or a podcast or a stage or in your relationship or your workplace or to your clients. Your voice is the organ of your soul and if you aren’t accessing it to the full potential, you are missing out on richer relationships, great physical health and of course abundance in all its forms. If you want it to flow into your life, let that beautiful voice flow out of your mouth and into the universe like a spell.

I’ll link to more info in the show notes. That’s Speak from your Soul – we already have so many beautiful humans who have enrolled. And the course has weekly live circles which I run. A lot of online courses don’t have this live component. I want to connect with you, hear your voice and truly get you the results you want.

Ok you can tell I’m super passionate about Speak from your Soul, because I know how much it has helped people release their fears around speaking. Which is so incredibly liberating.

And releasing speaking fears and upskilling yourself might be what brought you to this podcast.

So let’s dive in, this part was towards the end of my talk, let’s go …

With the hundreds of clients I’ve coached. I commonly see three P’s rear their ugly heads.

When I was a spokesperson for a water company, the three P’s were the only things you could flush – pee, poo and paper.

These are a different set of P’s.

The PERFECTIONIST – It’s not good enough. You haven’t prepared enough.

The PEOPLE PLEASER – What will they think? I hope they like me.

The PERSONAL POLICE – You can’t say that. You should do this.

Are they familiar sounding voices in your head?

Come to think of it you can flush those three P’s down the toilet as well, and a great way to send them there is with another P word.

This P was clear as day the very first day I started in that PR job at the water company – Urban Utilities.

Let me set the scene.

The day before I started we scattered dad’s ashes, the whole fake doctor situation had just broken and being away from my freelance news job for a few weeks and then replaced because of dad’s death – meant I barely had enough money to cover my rent.

I was so grateful to have this job and I really couldn’t waltz in there on my first day declaring what a bin fire my life was.

So, I got myself together, got a coffee downstairs, did the intros to the team, sat down at my computer and within about 30 seconds proceeded to spill half my long black down my white blouse.

With everything going on in my head, it honestly barely registered.

OMG, lovely Mel in marketing who I had literally just met, came running over. She was like oh my god you poor thing, first days can be nerve wracking. I have a spare shirt in the merch room, it’s not that great.

I said sure thank you so much. That would be amazing.

It was an ugly, grey oversized shirt which I wore the rest of my first day, and I let me tell you it didn’t bother me in the slightest.

A few months later we were having work drinks and that incident came up and everyone was like ‘OH. Sal we felt so bad for you, imagine spilling coffee on yourself on the first day, we were so embarrassed for you.’

And at that point I was able to share the magnitude of other shit going down, and the coffee spillage being a complete non-event by comparison.

What’s the P I’m talking about – PERSPECTIVE.

Perspective is one of the best antidotes to perfectionism, people pleasing, the personal police.

As time went on and life improved and burst water mains on the morning news were a big deal, my mum would remind me to get some perspective – Honey, it’s PR not ER.

How often do you blow speaking related things out of proportion and you lose perspective?

Does one Instagram REEL become a REAL big deal?

Does one podcast cast a dark cloud over your entire week?

Does one webinar induce a world wide web of panic?

I’m not saying don’t care about these things – I’m saying healthy dose of perspective goes a long way.

Remember to have perspective.

And add to the P for perspective with a G. Yep I’m all up for Only Fans and after dark content, but making your speaking PG will trigger your memory. The P’s for perspective and the G is for gratitude.

Studies show you can’t be fearful and grateful at the same time. The brain can only respond to one or the other. So it’s well worth training your brain to have an attitude of gratitude. It’s the fastest fix I know for public speaking freak outs.

Start practicing gratitude. Look in the mirror each day and say Far out, I’m grateful to be you. Talk out aloud at least three things you’re grateful for, and if you feel like your speech or video is getting bigger than Ben Hur in your mind, look in that mirror and say – I’M GRATEFUL for this OPPORTUNITY. I’m grateful for this opportunity.

Wifi was only invented in 1997, so social media and podcasting and webinars are these wild technologies to reach our audience – be grateful for them. Every time you’re asked to speak or put your hand up to speak or hit record - how lucky are you to have the opportunity to share the gift that is your voice.