167. How to Stop Caring What Other People Think!
This is a problem - being held back by a fear of what other people think!
It's time to shake it off Taylor Swift Style and take back your power!
In episode 167 of That Voice Podcast I share -
😎 Huge reframes to shift your thinking around caring what people think.
🪩The game-changing metaphor which snapped me out of caring what other people think.
📲How getting online criticism is a great thing.
👪Why your family and friends are often your biggest negative judgers.
💪What you can do to overcome this fear for good!
Transcript
Ooh, this is a good episode today, How to Stop Caring What Other People Think. Ah, unraveling this knot will give you liberation like no other. Before I get into it, I realized I forgot to update you guys on the Tasmanian Nudie Swim. So if you've seen my socials, then you're all up to date if you haven't. So on June 22nd, the winter solstice here in the Southern hemisphere, Patrick and I joined 2000 people to strip off and run into the chili water in Hobart. It was part of the Dark Mofo Festival and it was so much fun, like it was so much more fun than I was expecting. There was such a community atmosphere And get this Patrick and I's backside ended up on the front page of the Tassie Mercury, the paper, oh my God, like, crazy. So yes, when I pictured a front page spread, it wasn't quite what I had in mind. Anyway, it was so much fun and we planned to do it again.
The only other life update I have for you is I managed to get Taylor Swift tickets to Melbourne Night two. So if you're coming to Melbourne night two, shoot me a message 'cause that's like, oh, so cool. And I'm really excited to go with my sister and my two nieces, Izzy and Hannah. I've already ordered the best black rhinestone cowboy boots. There will definitely be an unboxing video of that on socials. So make sure you're following on Instagram @SallyProsserVoice and @thatvoicepodcast and that excitement of getting those Taylor Swift tickets. You know, I sat online for hours with something like nine devices open. It was absolutely crazy. And that high of getting the tickets really is still lasting. Like it's the Taylor Swift effect. Forget what she's done for the economy. Look at what she's done for general mood and well-being.
Like I am literally so excited. I'm almost 40, and I am so excited about this concert and this woman I'm about to see in all these months time, especially the immediate night after I went out and met my sister for a drink and I was on an absolute high, like nothing could bring me down. I was like, oh, I wish I could just bottle that feeling. And here's the thing, you can, you can bottle that feeling. There's an exercise in Fear to Fierce is called Ring of Power, where you learn how to harness that emotion that you want to recreate, and then you can call on it whenever you like.
Okay, so today's episode is potent and could be absolutely game changing for you. And it's not about how to stop caring what other people think. It's not about that. It's about how to not let what you think other people think stop you from doing what you wanna do. It's a bit of a riddle. I'll say it again: It's about how to not let what you think other people think stop you from doing what you want to do.
Because caring what other people think is not inherently a bad thing. In fact, wouldn't you be more worried if other people didn't think anything? We need more thinking people. And if you have a business or want to build relationships or want to have impact when you speak, then you want people to think about you. The issue is when the fear of what people think puts the brakes on you, because it does put the brakes on you. Releasing the worry around what other people think is like kicking off a 20 kilo ankle wave. That shit is holding you down, keeping you in place. Oh, I could freestyle on this for hours, and it's an area we focus on in our August Soul Speakers call. So if you are ready to move beyond listening and get involved in practical exercises to break these beliefs, then join my community of Soul Speakers. The link is in the show notes.
So I often get asked, don't you care what people think? And my answer is always, Yeah, I care what people think it's bloody amazing! And I actually care that people disagree too, because if you're not getting differing opinions, you're playing it too safe and like a magnet when you lean into your weird and wonderful self. I'm chatting to Kate Toon about this very topic on the podcast in a couple of episodes time. If you are the magnet, you attract and you also repel.
I didn't always think this way. I wasn't always so confident about it. And the best thing that happened to me was going viral on TikTok several times and getting haters, getting serious criticism. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. There was one particular TikTok about pronunciation that really stirred the haters, that triggered a lot of people. And I did an episode on this at the time. It's Episode 101 called Why I Embrace Online Hate. And You Should, Too. Basically, the video was about how to pronounce something, and a lot of people left negative comments and there were even stitches of the video saying, I was a dangerous woman, and how dare I make people feel bad about the way they talk? And oh, this hit me like a dagger to the heart because as you know, it's the direct opposite of what I set out to do. You know, my whole MO is about helping people feel confident in themselves and their voice. So there I was lying on the couch in my therapist's office crying, Why do they hate me? They've missed the point. You know, this is not what I'm about.
And no, she handed me some tissues and said, Look, Sal, you need to live life in your disco ball. Keep on shining, keep on dancing, and you get to decide who comes to your party and who is a reflection right back on themselves.
Whoa, how good is that? I love the disco ball. This analogy, this metaphor has helped me so much. I now use it everyday. I wake up. Where am I? I'm in my disco ball. I keep on shining, I keep on dancing. I decide who comes to the party and I decide who is a reflection right back on them. And I realized that the people I want in my party are my inner circle, my clients, and they know what I'm about and they support me. And of course, I had a lot of new people signing up to work with me from that very same video. And of course, I wasn't about to pack up my whole business because of that one video. Hell no. My mission is way too big for that. So why was I fixated on these Nona Strangers on the internet? God, humans can be self-loathing creatures. We can also be self-loving creatures. We get to choose.
And who are these people whose opinions you care about? If it's strangers, honestly not worth two shits. If it's your family or friends, this is a little more challenging because chances are you are wanting to maintain a relationship, right? So chances are you are evolving. Awesome. I love evolving. I love change. I'm kind of obsessed with not being who I was yesterday. What happens in relationships is if the other person is not evolving along with you or appreciating your evolution, they'll likely criticize it. And it's for two main reasons. So the first one is that they wouldn't do what you are doing, so therefore they think it's bad. Oh, you can't say that. Oh, I can't believe you made a video talking about that. And it's usually a direct mirror disco ball on their own insecurities. The second reason they criticize is because they knew you when you were just like them, which means your successes, you are putting yourself out there. It's potentially a huge trigger for them to be like, Oh, they did it. And they come from exactly where I come from and I'm just a bit shit. It's the old, who does she think she is. This is why when you start a business or put yourself out there or start being "successful, whatever that means, it's often new people or strangers that will support you way more than Jenny you went to school with or your mom's friend.
Take note, people who are truly successful and happy in their own lives will not be criticizing yours.
People who are truly successful and happy in their own lives will not be criticizing yours in the same way. If you are truly happy in doing what you want, then you won't criticize others. You might disagree. That's cool. I mean, you'd be hard pressed to find two people in the world that want to make identical life choices. And that's the great thing about your life, right? It's yours. And this brings me to something that might be pretty confronting. When this was pointed out to me by a coach a few years ago. I was like, Whoa, judging others is judging yourself. Judging others is judging yourself. It's the whole pointing one finger out and seeing three point back at you. So if you are being held back because you worry about what other people think, go deeper. Is it what other people think?
Who are these people? How do you even know what they think? Why does it matter to you? It might be because those negative things are what you think about yourself. You might be staying stagnant, not because of what other people think, but because of what you think. Do you practice radical self-love the whole nude in front of the mirror, giving yourself affirmations? Do you feel that what you have to say is valuable? Do you know the power of using your voice? And if you are having an uncomfortable realization now that actually, Yeah, Sal, it's what I think of me, then it's time to take back that power.
Take back your power. Because giving power to the opinions of others is taking power away from yourself. It's that heavy dead weight you are giving power to. You know, remember the number one regret of the dying is, I wish I lived a life true to me, not what others expected of me. So ask yourself, what do you want to do? What message do you want to get out there and shake off those shackles of what other people think? And lean into how you will think about you at the end of your life. Because letting what you think other people think stop you from doing what you wanna do, or letting the doubts you have about yourself stop you from doing what you wanna do. It's no way to live.
And I wanna hear from you. What do you wanna do? Is it starting that business? Posting videos on social media, speaking on stages, speaking up in your relationship or at work? In our August Soul Speakers call, the theme is rewrite your speaking story. In this call, I'm diving into all of this and I'll be sharing my exact process for how to begin rewiring these beliefs that are holding you back.
Beliefs like, other people will judge me negatively. Beliefs like, I'm not smart enough. I don't know enough, I'm not a good speaker. And so if you are ready to kick that weight off your ankle and feel the lightness and brightness and freedom, and flow and wealth and joy that comes with it, then join Soul Speakers. Come to the August call. The replay is there. If you're listening after August 8, remember thinking doesn't overcome fear. Action does. Thinking doesn't overcome fear, action does. And Soul Speakers is for action takers. So click the link in the show notes or just DM me. And remember, you are amazing. You are amazing.
You wanna know what other people think. I think you are amazing. You know, you are listening to personal development podcasts. You value growth. And especially if you were drawn to this episode in particular, it shows you are so ready to shake it off, just like Taytay has many times in the face of criticism. Way worse than what any of us are likely to experience ever in our lives. So get out there and do one thing today that signals to the universe that you are no longer available, no longer available for being held back by what you think other people think of you. You are metaphorically stripping down to your birthday suit and running into the cold water. Ah, so invigorating!