194. The 4-step Feedback Framework

Are you confident giving feedback or constructive criticism?

It can be challenging to do well.

I've developed a 4-step framework to help leaders give effective feedback that doesn't end in tears!

In this episode I explain how the 4 P's work, with examples.

1. PRAISE

2. PROBLEM

3. POSITIVE

4. PLEDGE

Hello welcome to episode 194 of That Voice Podcast, today we’re tackling one of the most challenging speaking scenarios  - giving feedback or constructive criticism.

I don’t love doing it, and so many of my clients come to me because one of these high stakes conversations has gone pear-shaped with their team members.

So if you are leading a team or working with contractors or just need to give feedback to anyone for any reason, I have a fantastic 4-step original framework.

Over the years I’ve been shocking at giving feedback and not great at receiving it. Newsrooms are known for being quite direct. I remember answering the phone one day after a long day as a TV journalist to hear my boss say ‘havent you heard of an eye brow pencil?’ and the way you speak literally does set the tone for your team, for your organisation. Your voice is catching. And so a lot of the feedback I gave was harsh and direct.

Glad to say I’ve learnt a lot since then, and worked with many clients who have challenges around giving feedback to their team – especially in high stakes scenarios like performance reviews, when the performance hasn’t been great.

So I came up with the four P’s of Feedback, not to be confused with the Three P’s I talked about a lot in my PR role for the water company, the only three things you should flush, pee, poo and paper.

The FOUR P’s of Feedback is the framework for giving Feedback.

If you’d like frameworks for introducing yourself, selling something, telling a story then download my free ebook What to Say when you don’t know what to say, and they’re all in there.

Ok the first P is of giving feedback is

PRAISE – start with something positive. If you go in negative straight away people will understandably get their back up and a defensive person is not someone who is listening let alone motivated to change their behaviour.

So start with something positive and preferably personal.

I’ll use an example that came up in a workshop I ran for dance studio owners about a dance teacher who was repeatedly turning up late.

So the praise could be, I really love the way you interact with the kids, they enjoy your classes and you’re a beautiful dancer.

Right so you set the scene for the person to feel confident and have their ears open.

Number two – is PROBLEM. Describe the problem you’re facing and talk about the situation not the individual.

So it’s not the problem is you’re always late. Make the praise personal, not the problem personal.

Talk about the problem like it’s outside the person. It’s a communal problem.

The problem is kids are arriving for class before you get here.

And also frame the problem as an opportunity.

So The problem is kids are arriving for class before you get here. We’re missing the chance to say hi to the parents, and they’re going into the room unsupervised without anything set up.

Then number three is POSITIVE.

And that means get positive agreement on the problem. If people do not agree there’s an issue or a gap in expectation, there’s no way they’ll be motivated to change, because there’s no reason to.

So you’re looking for nodding, you’re listening out for a yes.

And you can make it as explicit as saying do you see how that’s a problem?

If you don’t get buy in here, you might need to go back and do more work describing HOW it’s a problem. Is it a safety problem, is it a company values problem, is it a standards problem.

And again it’s not saying, you’re hopeless what are you doing. It’s about agreeing on what the standards are.

So here at X dance studio our instructors are here 15 minutes before class starts to meet the parents, the room is set up in advance.

And only once you get the positive agreement on what the problem is, you can move to step four which is the PLEDGE.

That is getting the person’s promise on the actions required for the solution. People will keep a promise to themselves way more than obeying something their boss told them to do. Even better if it’s their idea. How can we solve this problem? I can get in 15 minutes before class starts.

Now this process often reveals an opportunity for meeting half way and compromising and improving processes and strengthening the kind of culture your want.

When I work with clients on this kind of communication we often use the phrase – this is what I promise to do, what can you do to help?

So for example in this scenario, the dance instructor may only be paid from the time of the class starting and therefore feel she shouldn’t have to arrive beforehand. Whereas the owner may believe that preparation time isn’t work time, it’s preparing to start time. No-one’s wrong or right (maybe I should make a TikTOk to see what people think) but it does expose a difference in expectation, which often leads to the need for conversations like this to begin with.

When I was in my early 20’s i worked at a leagues club behind a bar, they had a similar issue where people were walking in the front door at the time they were meant to be starting to serve. This was one of five jobs I was working while studying a double degree full time, so I never really got to involved in the whole thing, but I’m pretty sure they changed the rosters so the official sign on time was 15 minutes before you were expected to be behind the bar. And guess what, the same people were still late.

Anyway, the point is these discussions are so valuable for both the feedback giver and the feedback receiver.

Because what’s the goal here? It’s to help. You give feedback to set someone up for success. If you genuinely don’t care about the person and just need to let off steam (and you might’ve had a boss like this) it’s not about who doesn’t want to give constructive criticism they just want to criticise.

So if you are constantly getting criticised by a boss or a coach or a partner… get out. We are like plants and with constructive criticism we grow and with plain old criticism we wilt.

Now if you’re listening to this podcast, then my guess is you want to speak effectively for all the right reasons. I’d love to see you in Soul Speakers, my group program. It’s not just about public speaking in the old-fashioned sense of the word it’s about speaking from the heart in an effective way in a whole range of situations

And if you are a leader who is self-aware enough to see how feedback situations might have been poorly handled it’s a good invitation to invest in these communication skills, because as a leader your words matter, your voice matters and not only will great communication skills help you advanced in your career, you have the opportunity to be that mentor that the people you lead rave about, appreciate and remember for making a difference in their lives.

My older sister Shona is such an inspiration to me. She was runner up for Queensland’s EXCEPTIONAL WOMAN IN RESOURCES and at the awards lunch you could tell her team just loved her and someone even said ‘Shona is my career plan, where she goes I’ll follow.’ And Shona agrees, as my clients do that real, genuine, skilled communication is at the heart of great leadership.

I’ll be forever grateful to the people in my life – the coaches and bosses and friends and my sister– who have given feedback in a way that’s helped me grow and improve.

Try the framework and let me know how you go – PRAISE, PROBLEM, POSITIVE and PLEDGE.

And if you have any feedback for me and the podcast please DM me @thatvoicepodcast or @sallyprosservoice.