218. Raising rural voices
Do you live in a rural area?
Your story is even more important to share, with the focus often on your urban counterparts.
Australian of the Year for Tasmania 2024 Stephanie Trethewey is a huge advocate for raising rural voices, and in this episode shares -
- How she went from being a city-girl to living on a farm in Tassie.
- The story behind the national charity she founded - MOTHERLAND.
- Why raising rural voices is so important.
- A surprising lesson from being an Australian of the Year.
- The one thing not to be underestimated when it comes to sharing your story.
Transcript
Welcome back to That Voice Podcast and a huge welcome, especially if you're here for the first time, possibly because of our very high profile, amazing guest on this episode, she's Australian of the Year for Tasmania, 2024. She started a national charity supporting rural moms called Motherland. This includes the Motherland podcast, which has more than a million downloads, and we met more than a decade ago as channel seven TV news reporters in Rockham. If you're listening to this from outside Australia, Rockham is not quite like the Hamptons. Her name is Stephanie Trethewey and especially if you've never heard her speak, you are in for a treat. Steph explains why raising rural voices is so important. She shares a surprising lesson from being Australian of the Year, and Steph reveals the one thing not to be underestimated when it comes to sharing your story.
Sally:
Steph Trethewey, it is so wonderful to have you on That Voice Podcast. How are you?
Steph:
I'm good, Sal. Thanks for having me.
Sally:
Long time! Steph and I met because way back in Rockhampton in the Channel 7 newsroom in Rockhampton. Steph took over my job.
Steph:
It feels like a lifetime ago, Sal. I don't think either of us thought that we'd be where we are today. So it's all worked out. But yeah, that was a long time ago. It's really lovely to connect again.
Sally:
Absolutely. So since that time you've been doing so many things.
Steph:
So if we go right back, Rocky, we're all great love stories begin is how I met my husband. I was working as a journalist. It was a slow news day, no stories happening, no politicians in town, no crime. And my husband was flown up from, he was living in Victoria at the time. He was a guest speaker at an agriculture event, and I turned up to that event and interviewed him for the six o'clock news. So I joke that that day I found a story and a boyfriend all in one go, which was a very productive day.
Sally:
Efficient.
Steph:
Yeah, very efficient. And look fast forward to now and a few years ago, Sal, you know, when I met Sam, he was a farmer. And I didn't realize what falling in love with a farmer meant. I was a city girl. I was living in a regional town, but I didn't realize what that was going to do to my life.
Steph:
So we lived around the country before we moved to rural Tasmania to run our own farm. And, and so Sam was very much a farmer in a suit working in Agritech, Agribusiness, doing a lot of public speaking, working in marketing, and I was in journalism. Until, you know, on our honeymoon, he actually said, I wanna go home. I wanna go home to Tassie, he's a third-generation Tasmanian farmer, and he wanted to crack and start his own business. And, and I said yes, because I had watched Farmer Wants a wife, and I thought it was gonna be all roses and butterflies and, you know, dates on hay bales. I went in very blind. I joke about it now, but God, I was naive. So yeah, I mean, 2019 we made the move with our six-month old baby our two blue healers and, and started a new life down here.
Sally:
Wow. What a story. So then how did Motherland come about from that?
Steph:
So when we moved to the farm, my little boy was six months old and I had really struggled with a transition to motherhood. I found it really difficult going from being such a career driven woman to overnight I lost my village. There were no support networks in Tassie here, no family, no friends, no mothers group. It was the perfect storm, and I had a very angry moment, which is actually the moment Motherland was born is, you know, people say it takes a village to raise a child. We've all heard it, it's like almost very overused. And I thought if they say it takes a village to raise a child, well where the hell is mine? Because I was struggling with my mental health, I was struggling with isolation, and I couldn't find an organization dedicated to telling the stories of rural mothers of what it's like to raise kids on the land, which is so different to life in the city. So that was the moment where Motherland was born. My little boy by that stage was eight or nine months old. It started with a podcast sharing stories enabling rural women to, to use their voices to share, you know, their ups and their downs of rural motherhood. And it's sort of just grown beyond my wildest dreams to what is now a national charity doing many things to support rural moms around the country.
Sally:
Yeah, it's so fantastic. And with this podcast, I'm sure you have plenty of stories every single episode, but does one stand out to you, a woman who's been able to share a very profound moment or profound story through the podcast, which might not otherwise have been heard?
Steph:
Absolutely. Such a tough question, Sal, because every week I feel like that's the case, but one that springs to mind because she's also, you know, we've grown quite close is way back. So there's been over 230 episodes now, but way back on Episode 50, Karen Brock a beautiful Tasmanian rural woman, and she shared in that podcast episode for the first time the domestic violence that she had experienced in her first marriage. And she'd never talked about it before. Most most people, no one knew. Her own family didn't actually know much about it. And so since that podcast that giving her that voice unexpectedly gave her this newfound strength, it was a weight off her shoulders. She was able to talk to her own family after that episode, her own father about that. And it created new relationships for her, different relationships for her, and it's enabled her to help other people who have gone through that. And so Karen and I have caught up many times. She's also her story I shared in my book Motherland and yeah, that really stands out at as a moment where it took us or her by surprise. The ability to, to get people to trust you enough to share their story is the first step. And then for her to be vulnerable enough to, to talk about that for the first time yeah, that sort of changed her life in unexpected ways.
Sally:
Yeah, so powerful. It really speaks to, by sharing a story, by using your voice, the knock-on effects of that, not just the relationships in her own family, but think of all the women who've been listening to that podcast I read recently, A million downloads. Is that right?
Steph:
Yeah, that's right.
Sally:
That is awesome, Steph. That's huge. So it's touching so many ears and hearts across the world.
Steph:
It is.
Sally:
If you listen to this podcast and motherland, please message us. This is a beautiful, a beautiful collaboration with that. If a mother on the land is, has a story and they're not speaking up and they're not sharing?
Steph:
I would say that don't underestimate the power of vulnerability. I think that that's something that I have had to learn over time is to be comfortable enough to realize that by sharing our stories and using our voice, that's where the magic is. And I know so many people that have, I guess, lived with fear of not sharing their truth, of not pitching that business idea, of not having a crack. And I feel like women, you know, unfortunately just sometimes lack that confidence. And this is a lot of the work that you do, Sal. I know. And, and it's so hard to see that happening. There are so many stories out there that need to be told. There are so many business ideas that need to be shared. Life is short. And I know that sounds really obvious. I lost my mother-in-law to cancer two months ago.
Steph:
And it's something that that really has shifted my perspective on a lot. And so it's not just about sharing your story and finding your voice and public speaking training all important, but it's actually shifting your mindset on we are here for such a short time. Like we are here for a drip in the ocean, so why not share it? Why not live without fear? And so for me, that's what I share with the women who come on the podcast, is you will help one person probably more, but if your story can help one person, if your business can fill a need and support just one person, then that is worth it. And you know, in rural Australia, there is so much that goes untold, unseen, unheard and so, you know, I'm just doing a tiny bit in the motherhood space to try and get these incredible women to share their voice.
Sally:
Absolutely. Oh, Steph, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law.
Steph:
Thank you. Thanks.
Sally:
It's really difficult.
Steph:
Yeah, it is. And I think, you know, unfortunately it takes tough times. You know, I don't know why humans wait until they're at rock bottom or they wait until something happens that's life changing to change their tune. And so part of my messaging is don't wait till things are too hard. Don't, don't let things go grab the day by the horns. You know, there's no better time than now. No one's got this stuff sorted. You know, I remember talking at a recent event and you know, one of the ladies was so nervous to get up on stage, like so nervous. And you know, she's like, Oh, you just do this all the time. You just, you know, you obviously you are pro you don't get nervous. And I said, well, actually, I do, I just have learned how to cope with it and how to use my nerves to my advantage.
Steph:
And I think that if you don't feel nervous, you probably don't care enough. Like I think nerves are actually important, those butterflies in your tummy to speak up, whether it's public speaking or being on a podcast or pitching a business idea. You know, that shows that you care. So I feel like we just look at other people and we see perfectionism, which doesn't exist. Everyone struggles in their own way with something. And so I'm really big on being really open about that because that stops a lot of people from, you know, speaking up because they look at everyone else and they think that everyone else has got their sorted and breaking news. No one does. No one has it sorted.
Sally:
Yeah. Thanks so much for sharing because people would say, well, it's all right for you. You used to be a television reporter, you are so used to being on camera. And I'm sure you would say all of that background has really helped you in the promotion of Motherland and being able to do all that. But it doesn't mean that if you don't have that kind of background that you can't do it.
Steph:
Yeah, that's true. And it has helped. Of course it's helped, it's helped you, it's helped I. There's no doubting that nearly a decade in, in TV news is gonna help you with public speaking, you'd hope so otherwise you haven't really been trained very well or done your job very well. So, of course it helps. But you know, like anything, things take time and I think it's about finding your own style. And perfect example is, you know, starting out as a news reporter, I cringe at my first stories. Like my voice was so terrible. I, like, I hate it. And I'm so glad that social media wasn't really a thing all the way back then 'cause I'm so old in my thirties, but you know, 'cause I felt like I had to copy and and be sound the same as certain reporters and it wasn't me.
Steph:
It was quite forced. And then, you know, you fast-forward to, to some of my later work, like at a current affair, I was much more me. And then even now with Motherland, I actually think that I would be a much better journalist if I started my career now or went back to news now, which I have no intention of doing because I'm more authentic and I found my voice. I think the problem is people feel like they've gotta sound like that news journalist. They've gotta sound like that reporter. And it's about finding your own style that actually still makes you human. Otherwise you sound like robots. And there are plenty of journalists out there who just sound terrible. They don't know it. They think, you know, they think they sound great, but they just, they lack that authenticity and connection. And that the great journalists, they, they speak to you through the screen and they're often even slightly more casual in some ways. They've got their own style. And so I've very much found that through Motherland is just being more authentic.
Sally:
Yeah, a hundred percent. I'm sure every single journalist would look back on their first story and go, Oh God, how bad did I sound? I came across what one the other day and I thought, Oh my goodness, that sounds so bad. And even the very first episode of this podcast, I'm like, oh gosh, I sound bad. But here's the thing, no one finds their authentic voice from from day one.
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Sally:
Congratulations-- Australian of the Year for Tasmania. That is so awesome. Tell me about how that experience has been. So I imagine lots more speaking and media engagements, what else have you learned through that process?
Steph:
Ah, it's a good question. I find it really hard to answer. And the reason I do is all the things I've done since, I mean, yes, there's a bit more media and a bit more attention and you know. It's great to put on your CV of course. Like I'm very, very proud. But everything I've done since is everything I was gonna do anyway. Again, I think this is back to this comparison culture is, awards are great. Like, don't get me wrong, they are fantastic, particularly as a, as a small growing charity where you're always looking for funding for sponsors, for connection, for partnerships, it helps build everything. But I don't do what I do for awards. That award was very much, I feel a win for rural Australia. And what I mean by that is with so many of these awards, it's always these big mainstream businesses or a lot of urban-based people that are showcased and on the forefront of the news and, and lots of awards.
Steph:
So for me to have a young mom who's a farmer, who runs a charity, who is just like any other rural mom on the land, trying to make it work and juggle everything and wearing all the hats. To have someone like me, like I'm not unique, you know, I represent so many other rural women and that's what was magic is to have the chance to be up on stage as a proud rural mom. That was the win for everyone else and in my community in the Motherland community. So it was amazing, Sal. It's been a huge year. I can't believe it happened. And I'm very grateful. Soon I'll be heading up on stage to hand the crown over for the next announcement. It's been an incredible, and the people I've met, you know, that's probably the best part. You know, Richard and Georgina who won Australian of the Year nationally spending time with them. Richard was down in Tassie for the tour of honor in Tassie. Him and I spent a lot of time together. He's a beautiful soul and the friendship and connection that I've made with some incredible humans is what I will by far cherish the most beyond the trophy, which I'm very grateful for.
Sally:
Oh, amazing. What unique challenges would you say women in rural areas have as opposed to perhaps their urban counterparts?
Steph:
The challenges are so great at a foundational level, you know, it's very hard to talk about. You know, finding your voice when you are struggling with basic needs. So not just mental health. Like we know that mental health in the bush is a huge issue. So you can't expect someone who's struggling on the land with their mental health to thrive in their business life, to thrive in their marriage, to thrive with their voice. You can't do anything if you're not mentally happy and emotionally healthy. And so that's really important and that's a lot of the work Motherland does. But then you look at the recent stats on things like childcare. I think it's something like 1.3 million rural families in living in a childcare desert. So again, that that, that has a runoff effect. If you can't get childcare, how can you run your business in rural Australia? There's a lot of basic needs. With all due respect, people in the city just don't have to think about families that are struggling with mental health. Families that are struggling with, you know, mother nature with the changing climate, with drought, floods, fires--the farm comes first. That's something that I've really struggled with over the years is the farm comes first. You work where you live, you live where you work. And so it can be very overwhelming. The mental load can be very real.
Sally:
And do you think since COVID, with media outlets becoming more comfortable with using Zoom interviews and things like that, I remember even when we were reporting if somebody was, you know, three hours away, the story just wouldn't get told because we wouldn't have the time or the crew to go and cover it or we do a trip once every couple of months. Do you think that's been a positive thing to enable more voices from wherever they are in Australia to be able to be part of the conversation?
Steph:
Absolutely. Actually where was Zoom when we were in Rocky? Did that not exist <laugh>? 'cause Like that's just extraordinary to me 'cause that was only like 12 years ago or something.
Sally:
Yeah, we did those horrible phone interviews with the graphic if we were desperate.
Steph:
That's right, yes. Oh my God. Like I feel really old, but that wasn't that long ago. Zoom has changed lives, you know, Google Meet all the video software. What we're recording on today, I remember it was still actually no, it was after COVID 2022. But you know, I won the Rural Women's Award and I did a lot of media and I was on the morning show via Zoom. I was on Studio 10 was Sarah Harris via Zoom from my farm. Mainstream media, I believe, has an obligation to elevate the stories of rural Australians more. And there's no excuse now we have Zoom, we have the technology. There is no excuse and I think that COVID as awful as it was, has enhanced our ability to share our voices and share our stories. And the silver lining is we've come out the other end. Zoom is very normal now for team meetings, for media. So thank God, because you know, when you live a few hours from the nearest town, when you live six hours from the nearest studio, those stories were not being told before. So I think it's really exciting to see more rural Australians on a mainstream media stage. Thanks to technology.
Sally:
Absolutely. Steph, was there anything else you'd like to add?
Steph:
I would just say, first of all, are you happy? Like, that's always my first question that I think that we often bypass, we jump straight into work and everything else. But at a fundamental level, are you happy? If you can answer that question and it's a yes, fantastic! But if not, we need to support people. We need to get them to get help. Because you can't expect people to use their voice to advocate for themselves, to share their stories if they're struggling. So for me, you know, mental health is key. And of course, you know, if you are in rural Australia and you come across Sal's podcast, get motherland into your ears as well. Join an online mothers group that we run 'cause we run Australia's first online rural mothers group program and you know, don't be afraid to have a crack and use your voice. Everyone has a story. And that's probably my final message is every week on the podcast, if I had a dollar for every time a guest said, oh, I don't think my story's that interesting, Steph. And you know, I don't think I have much to say. I would be an incredibly well-off billionaire by now. And you know, and I always say you do. Everyone has a story and it's just about having the self-confidence and the vulnerability to get it out there.
Sally:
Oh, yes, yes, yes. And we are recording this on Are You Okay Day, so it's very relevant. And Steph, are you happy?
Steph:
I am. I am. And I think that, you know, I think we treat happiness as a destination and I don't think that that's the case. I think it's ever evolving. It's impossible to be happy all the time. You know, like we've had rough patches this year and it's been up and down, that's life. But I think I've found a sweet spot where I know what gets lights me up. I know what pulls me down and I think I've got a much more healthy balance of work life, mom life that enables me to be a better mom, a better wife, a better business owner, because life is short. You know, if we are lucky, you get 4,000 weeks if you live to 80. So I've gotta use it wisely. So yes, I think that after struggling so much with my mental health, after both my kids, I had postnatal depression after both of them.
Steph:
I've done the work on myself and it takes work. If you're struggling, no one's coming to save you. And so I've done the work and I continue to do it and, and I think that that's really important. So yeah, I am happy. I'm really happy and I'm excited for what's to come. And life's been an adventure. I did not think that I would be here when you and I first met, what, 10, 11 years ago? Whatever it was. So life is is pretty pretty funny way of, you know, how it turns out. So I'm really excited to see what comes next, whatever that might be.
Sally:
Steph, thank you so much for coming on That Voice Podcast.
Steph:
Thank you so much for having me.