223. The voice of burnout
Feeling burnt-out? Or work with people who are?
In this episode I speak with the incredibly knowledgeable Burnout Therapist and Business Mentor Sheena Schuy. We cover -
🔥How burnout manifests in your voice.
🔥How to recognise you're in burnout.
🔥How to recover from burnout.
🔥Why high-achievers are most prone to burnout.
🔥How burnout prevents you from being a connected speaker.
Transcript
Hello, how are you feeling? It's getting to the end of the year. A lot of people are feeling really burned out. And this year, to be honest, I am really feeling it too. I'm so looking forward to taking some long rest days. Patrick and I are going to Singapore over New Year, which will be great. I'm also running a Singapore Speak Up for Your Business workshop on December 30. So come along if you're in Singapore. One thing that is not taking a break is That Voice Podcast. We are fresh into a new season, but what better time of year to talk about burnout? The wonderful burnout. Coach Sheena Schuy is my guest today and we chat about how to identify burnout, what you can do about it, and how it manifests in your voice.
Before we dive into that, one of the most energizing things you can do for yourself is join a community. And of course, I highly recommend joining us in Soul Speakers. It has everything you need to speak from the heart with confidence and become a visible and audible force in your field. The monthly coaching calls are speaking medicine for the soul. We welcome lots of new members this time of year as people get themselves set for 2025, and I would love to welcome you, too. The link to join is in our show notes. And now let's welcome Sheena.
Sally:
Sheena Schuy. Welcome to that voice podcast. Wonderful to have you on the show.
Sheena:
Oh, Sally, I am so happy that we get to connect every time us fellow Brisbane people get together. It's always so much fun.
Sally:
Yeah, absolutely! So let's get straight into it. What is burnout?
Sheena:
It is that state of physical, emotional, spiritual exhaustion. It's, it's that level of exhaustion that you, you almost feel it in your bones where you just don't bounce back like you used to.
Sally:
Mm. And how is it different from just good old fashioned stress?
Sheena:
I have a really good infographic on this and how it kind of looks is this: so if you ignore stress, which again, all of us are gonna feel stress, but we have to actually manage that stress. So stress is inevitable, but how you manage it makes a difference. So if you ignore stress for too long, often it does transform into anxiety. Now, if you ignore anxiety for too long, that fight-flight freeze, that stress response, that really survival response for too long, you are living in that state for months, years that burnout is inevitable. So burnout is almost the consequence of ignoring your anxiety for too long, ignoring all that adrenaline, all that cortisol. And it's literally like your nervous system is fried, it is burnt out. We are done. We're we're done living in that state. And it's like your body is trying to get you to stop.
Sally:
And why is it a problem? What are some of the things that can happen when we get to burnout, when we ignore all those signs along the way?
Sheena:
Burnout, I actually think it's a good thing. And now that might sound really, really crazy, but it's almost like your body's warning sign. You have an opportunity to address it before it turns into something more severe. So what I often see is burnout is the thing that comes up just before something more major happens. So analogy I often use is sort of like a physical analogy of let's say you are a runner and you sprain your ankle because you haven't been training properly or your muscles aren't quite strong enough or whatever reason your form's not good. Your body is signaling to you, Hey, you need to rest and recover. We need to change something 'cause you sprained us. Now a sprain is annoying, it's gonna hinder your performance as a runner for a little bit, but not that long. You might just have to rest your ankle for four to six weeks and then you can get back on it.
Sheena:
But your body is saying, Hey, we need to change something and we need to rest. Now let's say you are that runner and you go, Ugh, no, no excuses. I've got marathon coming up. I can't afford this four to six weeks off. I'm just gonna run anyway. Your muscles are weakened, the tendons are weakened, you run anyway. Now you roll it so bad it's a broken ankle. Now you're out for months. So instead of just taking the time, listening and resting and giving yourself an opportunity to actually listen to what was going on, you push through and now it's worse. Now if we come back to the mental health analogy 'cause burnout isn't a mental health diagnosis per se, it's more the symptoms of what we see. So it's that in-between, between anxiety and depression, where if you don't listen to the burnout, a lot of the things that I end up seeing is it turns into depression where people can hardly brush their teeth in the morning.
Sheena:
They can't, you know, function normally. They're letting people down, they're letting their work down, which a lot of the time it's high achievers who end up with burnout. So to let work down for a high achiever is like, it's almost like an identity attack. So there's that, but also it can manifest physically too. So I do often see "unexplained illnesses" and putting that in quotation marks because that's when there's stuff going on in your body and your doctor just doesn't know what this is. So you know, they'll go, it's endometriosis or it's PCOS or it's fibromyalgia. Which fibromyalgia is literally a diagnosis when Hey, you've got a whole bunch of stuff going on, we don't know what to call it, we're gonna call it this. So that's when I see that people have lived in anxiety that fight flight freeze or for way too long because it manifests physically like physical ailment. And again, it's your body going, I am forcing you to stop. If you won't stop by choice, I'll make it that it's not a choice.
Sally:
It's like the universe sends us the feather. If we don't feel the feather, it sends the brick. If we don't feel the brick it sends the mack truck. So it's gonna keep coming until we pay attention. So with a physical manifestation of burnout, what about the voice? Is there any particular things we can hear in the voice or perhaps language that we might start to use that suggests we are in that burnout phase?
Sheena:
I do think there's a lack of sparkle. You know what I mean though? It's almost like we lack belief. Whether that's belief in ourselves anymore, belief in the system, you know, we're starting to have a lot of self-doubt. So burnout is often happening around times of change and self-doubt and wondering if this is gonna come together or things are gonna work out. So I do think that manifests when you're speaking because if you speak with something with passion, like we know, you know, people have that kind of body language and personality behind it. If you are literally having to have 10 cups of coffee because you're so burnt out just to get up in the morning, you're either gonna talk ridiculously fast because that all that caffeine is gonna, you know, hype you up and sort of not make your message clear or the opposite where the message is clear but there's no passion or emotion behind it. It's like just going through the motions. What do I do to just get through this? So I think that's the telltale of in your voice and when you're talking to people that sparkle's kind of gone.
Sally:
Hmm, I love the way you said that sparkle's gone 'cause I often think of the voice as that fire inside and that fire is fueling the voice. And if that fire is getting burnt out, like snuffed out, then we have this flatness in our voice. There's no fire behind it. So it doesn't sound like a fun thing. And if anybody is listening and they're going, oh my gosh, I've been through that, or I feel like I'm in that right now, what can they do? Because I even know from my own experiences of burnout, which I'm looking forward to sharing on your podcast, is you can feel like you're a bit stuck on a hamster wheel. It's like you want to get off but you don't know how, you don't know where to start.
Sheena:
Like I said, it's an opportunity to reflect on what's working and what's not. Because often anxiety has preceded the burnout. And what anxiety is, is a lot of us still have this kind of old school thinking of it's a chemical imbalance or you know, but I like to try to teach my clients that the feelings of anxiety are a messenger and the messenger is something in my life is not working. Whether that's I'm not happy in my job anymore or my relationship's not working, or I actually just don't like where I live anymore. Or my friends or my connections or my schedule, you know, something is not working or even a little bit deeper than that, I've got unresolved trauma or unresolved stuff that needs to be addressed and it keeps bubbling up and I keep pushing it down. It keeps bubbling up and it pushing it down.
Sheena:
So that's preceded the burnout. So this burnout, that feeling, I want you to use it as that warning sign before the next thing before the mack truck, you've already received a brick in your analogy. So we've started with the feather, now you've received the brick before you get a mack truck thrown at you, really be honest, try and allow yourself some time to rest. And when I say rest, I don't just mean sleep. I mean take a few days, a week, a couple of weeks and really do things that you find joyful. Whether that's watching your favorite movies, hanging out with friends and family you haven't seen in a while going, you know, going outdoors in nature. Get that clarity but know you are going to feel uncomfortable. That's the biggest part of this. I think people think, Oh I'm gonna take time off and recover and I'm gonna feel comfortable doing that. If you are burnt out, it's likely that you've kind of got some high achiever tendencies. So allowing yourself to not be on and not be doing takes training, it takes discomfort. But like the runner who just wants to run but a force to rest, that is what's gonna help them recover faster and actually get that clarity, that space to get the answer in. Allow that space in.
Sally:
And it's not helped by society and the conditioning with capitalism and consumerism, which is driving people to be productive and do more and more more. And, and I know that I did a lot of work around the belief that rest is productive because we are so trained that if we're not doing and we are not producing, then we are not worthy or valuable.
Sheena:
Yeah, absolutely. And you know, not, not by any fault of their own, but a lot of the time our parents reinforce that in our childhood. So maybe we only got an I love you when you did good on your report card or maybe you only got a well done when you did well at sport or maybe you only got a, I'm proud of you when you looked really good. So what does that teach us? It teaches us that I'm only worthy and lovable when I'm achieving. Nowadays what we teach parents is to do sporadic praise where it's not a tide. Not always to a result. We do still do that. But also, you know, if you see a kid working hard ongoingly or you see other traits that you liken them like they're very caring or they're very kind or they don't leave their friends behind, we praise that as well because it's makes you feel like as a person, I'm worthy and lovable and it's not tied to my achievement.
Sally:
Hmm. And that's a big one as well when it comes to speaking and presenting. It can be a block going, well unless I do it perfectly and get an A plus for it, then it's not worth doing. And speaking becomes sort of a test that needs to be met rather than just a moment to create connection with another human.
Sheena:
If you are burning out, you can feel that in your voice of like we spoke about the lacking sparkle. It's like you don't believe in something anymore. So it's questioning, well what am I questioning now if I can't get the words out or get that fire in my belly going anymore? Well why is that? Do I not believe in what I'm saying anymore? Do I not believe in myself anymore? Like what belief system is, is putting out the fire.
Sally:
Yeah. And Sheena, that's one of the reasons I got you on this podcast is because this is the foundational work. You know, I've had some high achievers come to me and they say, I want to do better speeches and I really wanna be able to inspire my team and speak at these conferences and award ceremonies I'm being asked to like, the bottom line is, is if you are burnt out, you cannot do a fantastic engaging, heartfelt speech. So this is another thing that happens when people are burnt out. We love to give reasons. Oh well it's just because the kids are going through X, Y, Z or it's just because there's a lot going on at work or it's just because I need to get better public speaking training, you know, know all of these things outside rather than going, actually no I need to listen to this messenger. I love how you said that anxiety being that messenger on what do I need to change and how do I need to rest and recover so I can go out there stronger.
Sheena:
It's really important to remember, like we talked about the discomfort from recovering from burnout. So again, like you say, you are not going to do your best work when you're burnt out. So the really hard part is when you do get a seemingly amazing opportunity. So someone goes, I'd love you to speak and at first you're like, how exciting. And then, and then the second thought is, Oh my god, another thing I've gotta prepare for. And if you are feeling like that you are not going to do your best work. Unaligned action makes things worse. So when you are burnt out, you are not thinking clearly. But our tendency as human beings is when something's not working, I've gotta take action to fix it rather than giving myself space and allowing the answer to come to me. And I think it's true for speaking and using your voice as well is it can be really easy to go, I'm gonna do more to get over this hump.
Sheena:
Maybe if I do more or take more action, it will help. So saying yes to the opportunity because there's a fear part of you that it's not gonna come up again. But actually let's say you take the opportunity, you do the speaking gig and it's flat and it's awful, or you don't get asked to come back again because you don't have the sparkle versus if you said no, but you get another opportunity again when you are not burnt out and you have that sparkle and people really remember your speech and remember you. So I think all of this is connected of allowing yourself to only take action when it feels good and when it feels like that fire in your belly and the sparkles there and, and if it's not there, it will come back. I, I've, when I've been burnt out it often feels like is am I gonna get back to where I was? Like am I, is that feeling ever gonna come again? And it will come at the most random time there's something that happens or you get a new insight and you go, oh, it clicks now and the sparkle does come back. But you've gotta give space for the sparkle to come.
Sally:
Yeah. Giving yourself that gift of space, that gift of pause to be able to listen to the most important voice of all and that's our inner voice. So Sheena, is there anything else you'd like to add?
Sheena:
Oh look, we've covered so much today, but I really do think your work is so important and I love the idea of really listening to your own voice and what is it telling you, listening to your voice and whatcha saying to other people because often that's your unconscious speaking to itself. You know, so often the things we talk about on our own podcast, we tell our clients it's exactly what we need to hear as well. So if you are listening to this notice, what is the advice you're giving your friends? What is the advice that you're giving your clients? Because often that's probably the advice you need to be taking too.
Sally:
Yeah. We become the teacher, we need ourselves. Oh, amazing. And Sheena, if people want to get in touch with you to learn more about your work and seek your incredible help, if they are experiencing burnout, how can they get in touch with you?
Sheena:
Yeah, absolutely. So my most active platform is Instagram, so you can always find me on there. So my handle is @Sheena.Holistic.Therapist. My website is savasanacollective.com, so I'm sure we can have that in the show notes. And I have my podcast myself called Burnout to Brilliance, so you can find that on YouTube, Spotify, apple, wherever you get your podcasts.
Sally:
Oh, amazing. Sheena, thank you so much for coming on That Voice Podcast.
Sheena:
So lovely to talk to you.