59. Body Language 101

Our body language speaks volumes! In this episode I share practical tips for what to do with your legs, hands and facial expression to create trust and connect with an audience.

Full masterclass in our Members Only group. Join HERE.

Transcript

We say so much without even opening our mouth. Scary I know. And even if we are using our voice, our message will be lost if our body language is telling a different story. That's why today we're talking body language 101.

I'm Sally Prosser, former TV reporter, former PR pro, and currently on a mission to help you find your voice and speak with confidence. You're listening to That Voice Podcast, no matter who you are or what you do, your voice matters. So unless you've sworn a lifetime vow of silence, this is the podcast for you.

Welcome back to That Voice Podcast, which is more like that body podcast today because our body language speaks volumes and to get our message across, we want our inner voice, our vocal tone, the words we use and body language - all to be aligned. Now, before we get into the episode, I should mention, this is the topic for our December masterclass in our Members Only group. So over an hour, I won't just be talking about the key do's and don'ts of body language. I'll actually be on camera demonstrating and of course answering any questions live. So if you want to feel more confident when you're presenting come and join us in Members Only. It's a subscription based membership. You can hop in for a month and just hop right out if it's not your thing. And our body language masterclass is on December one. Actually the prices are also going up on December one. So if this has been something you've been thinking about then pre-December one is the time to do it. Head over to sallyprosser.com.au and click on Members Only, or just click the link in the show notes. We would love to see you there.

So today's episode is kind of a sneak peek of our masterclass, Body Language 101 - the basics language is such a fascinating area, and there are so many different facets to it. A great place to start is just being aware of our body language. I want to tell you about an experiment Allan Pease has done. So Allan Pease is known as Mr. Body Language, and I encourage you to check out his books. If you're keen to learn more, they're really easy to read and really funny to say, Allan did an experiment where they set up a mirror at the end of a long hotel lobby. And so it gave the illusion that as you entered, there was a really long corridor through the hotel and out the back of the lobby. And they hung plants from the ceiling so as you came in, it looked like someone else came in the corridor from the other end at the same time. And you couldn't immediately recognize it was your reflection because the plants kind of covered it up. So as people walked in, they could see the other person AKA their reflection for a good five or six seconds before they turned into reception.

Get this. When they asked if they recognize the other guest, AKA themselves, 85% of men said NO. One guy even said, Oh, you mean that fat ugly guy. The women did a lot better, 58% said it was a mirror. And then 30% said the guest looked familiar. So what does this tell us? One, women are more perceptive than men - something a lot of studies have shown actually. And two, in general, we're just not that good at reading body language, even when it's ourselves. So just being aware is the first step? And another thing to remember is body language needs to be interpreted in context, just like words. But there are some simple, practical things that you can do with your legs, hands and facial expression. That's what we're focusing on today. Legs, hands, and facial expression. And you can use these when you're a bit nervous or just simply don't know what to do. I'm thinking when you have to stand up to give a presentation, walk into a networking event, a date even -anywhere where you might feel a little bit awkward at first.

So let's start with our legs. Now, our legs are pretty far away from our brain so we can forget what they're doing. Often if we're nervous, our feet will be tapping or shuffling or rocking around. And that's the brain telling us to get the hell out of there. So not only can it appear to our audience that we don't want to be, there can also appear like we're lying. There's studies that have shown we increase the movement in our lower body when we're lying. Right? So grounding the feet really helps. Imagine your legs are tree trunks and the roots of the tree stretch well below the ground underneath. So you're anchored to the earth. Oh, just knocked my tissue box over. Cause I am gesturing like crazy at the moment. So you are anchored to the earth and this really gives you strength. The next thing to think about is where are your feet pointing? Where are your feet pointing? Basically, it's where you want to go. So if you're talking to someone and you're looking at them and facing them, but your legs are turned away. You want to get out of that conversation. So feet grounded facing the audience or the person you're talking to and uncrossed, if you can, although something I learned from a friend is that if you cross your legs for a photo, you look skinnier. So that's a little Instagram tip there, but for public speaking crossed legs can look a bit closed off. And when we're speaking, we want to create connection right? In the Members Only masterclass. I'll go into a lot more detail, how to stand, how not to stand and also how to move.

All right. Now let's talk about hands. So just like the jittering of the feet, if we're nervous, we might wring our hands together or play with a ring or even cross our arms altogether. And the principle is the same - open, strong hand gestures are better. And yet they are harder to do because if we feel threatened, we want to protect ourselves and hiding behind our hands and our arms is a really natural response. And think about where your hands go. Are they crossed protecting your heart and lungs, your vital organs? Or are they protecting your groin? A very vulnerable, precious part of you. You can see why you do it, but why is it a problem? Well, not only does it create a barrier between us and our audience, studies show, it actually affects our credibility and trustworthiness, right? Because the prehistoric part of our brain looks at someone's hands to check if they're carrying a weapon. Right. And if we can't see them we're suspicious. So yeah, basically avoid crossing your arms and keep your palms in view where you can. In our Members Only masterclass we'll dive into this more and also talk about some other things that can create a barrier between you and the audience, as well as how to gesture effectively. As you can imagine, that's a little tricky to demonstrate without having video.

All right, finally, let's touch on facial expression. So according to anthropologist, Ray Birdwhistell, the average person speaks for about 10 or 11 minutes a day. And that's not the case in my household. That's the average person. He also estimated we can make and recognize around 250,000 facial expressions, a quarter of a million facial expressions. And as much as I love podcasting, that is an element we miss with just audio. So let's see how I go explaining facial expressions without you seeing me. I am very animated by the way, if you've seen me on social media, you'll know what I mean. And that's my theory as to why I have such a wrinkly forehead. So when it comes to facial expression, my first tip is to have some. So when I work with clients, I video them and we watch back. It's not really a pleasant experience, but believe me, it's very effective. And one of the most common pieces of feedback I get is people saying, wow, I felt like I was super animated, but I looked totally deadpan. So video yourself and practice in front of the mirror and you'll see what your face is doing. You need to actually move the muscles in your face, move your eyebrows, move your cheeks, move your jaw. So when you're speaking, you can really engage and look like you want to be there. Imagine you're speaking to someone that you really care about. This will usually make you look more warm and less wooden.

And with eye contact, try not to dart around the room. This isn't eye contact. This is actually you scanning the room for exits. So you can get the hell out of there. I suggest keeping your eye contact with one person per thought and then sharing the eye contact around the four corners of the audience, the four corners of the audience, and this comes with practice. And of course with so much online lately. You need to look smack bang down the lens of the camera to have eye contact. And I have another episode called How to Wow on webcam, which talks more about that.

Oh, wow. Body language is so fascinating and there is so much more to talk about and demonstrate and learn. I would love to see you online on December one for our Members Only masterclass, Body Language 101. And remember prices go up at midnight, midnight Queensland time on the 1st of December. So go and click the link in the show notes and I'll see you in there.

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