62. Your inner voice of sabotage

Is your inner voice sabotaging your real voice? Probably! In this episode we get down and dirty with your thoughts and learn strategies to get them working for you, not against you. With your inner voice onside you'll release your best voice and speak with more confidence.

Click here to join My Six Week Voice Makeover

Transcript

Welcome to That Voice Podcast.

I’m Sally Prosser - former TV reporter, PR pro and currently on a mission to help you find your voice and speak with confidence.

No matter who you are or what you do your voice matters!

So unless you’ve sworn a lifetime vow of silence.

This is the podcast for you.

Welcome to SEASON FOUR of That Voice Podcast – we’re up to episode 62.

Now, this is a sneaky solo series so you’ll just have me for the next 6 or so episodes.

And today I want us to get deep and dirty into That Inner Voice of Sabotage.

Our real voice is a megaphone for our inner voice.

And almost every single issue I see with our physical voice has started with our inner voice.

From restricted tone to feeling breathless, from saying too many ums and ahs to just not knowing what to say, from nervous body language to having a brain freeze.

It all starts with MINDSET .

And that’s why MINDSET is week one of My Six Week Voice Makeover.

I’m so excited to launch this course next year.

I’ve made some awesome upgrades and there’s an extra offering which will include one on one coaching with me.

So if you want to make 2021 the year you shake off the self-doubt and discover your vocal confidence, which I know you have.

Then My Six Week Voice Makeover is perfect for you.

So get on the invite list, the link is in the show notes, or head to sallyprosser.com. au and follow the links there.

And one of the first things we do in the course, is dig deep into those thoughts that are sabotaging you.

And we know our thoughts do this because we just need to apply the swim up cocktail bar test.

When you’re swanning up to the bar for your second Aperol Spritz you’re going to sound like a dream.

(unless there’s some weird flirting thing going on with the bartender)

But you know what I mean, In situations where you’re relaxed, around people you love, and your mind is clear – your voice usually will be too.

When you’re sitting around a long lunch chatting with your real good girlfriends or mates are you stressing about what to say? Worried you said um too much? Feeling judged?

If yes, get new friends.

We start to see that the mindset is critical and the more we understand ourselves the better position we’ll be in to get that inner voice onside.

So let’s break it down.

Pour your cup of tea, light your candle, whip out your journal and let’s think and get it down.

What does go through your mind before you have to present?

What goes through your mind before you make or post a video?

Are those thoughts different?

Do certain people, certain audiences trigger certain thoughts?

If your inner voice was a soundtrack what’s the playlist?

So once you have those thoughts written down.

And look I’ll give you some examples, not to put these ideas in your head – but just to let you know the most common ones are –

I’m going to say the ‘wrong’ thing.

I don’t want to do it.

I don’t want to be up here.

I’m just going to get through it.

I don’t know enough.

Why would they want to listen to me.

The topic is so dry and technical.

I’m not a public speaker.

I’m going to make a fool of myself.

I’m going to forget what to say.

I’m going to lose my voice.

I hate all those people staring at me.

I could go on and on – and if any of those resonated with you, sorry you’re not special, they are honestly so so common.

After we’ve identified those thoughts.

We gotta dig deeper, we gotta pick those babies ike we’re getting a shard of glass out of our finger.

That metaphor is on my mind because my boyfriend smashed a glass, cleaned up but then decided to sweep his hand along the floor to check he’d got all the tiny pieces. Needless to say they ended up in his finger and nurse Sally has been on the job with one of those little picker things.

So that’s what I think of when I mean dig deeper.

It could be asking WHY.

SO WHY when an speaking opp comes up is I’ don’t want to do it, the first thought?

Do you think someone else would be better? WHY. WHY do you not believe you are the best person?

And the more you ask WHY the sooner you’ll see the thought as ridiculous.

You can challenge words straight up.

I’ll do it for you if you join the course – or especially if you’re with me one on one.

I don’t know enough.

Ok what is enough? At what point have you satisfied the little board of directors in your own head/ When you’ve won the Nobel Prize and been awarded the number one subject matter expert on earth? Or will you be stressing that someone on Mars now knows more than you.

So you realise that’s a sabotaging thought. That concept of enough. Do you know enough to be speaking on it, I’d say hell yes. And you know sometimes knowing too much makes you a worse communicator. There are plenty of university professors who are not great teachers, because they can’t pitch it for the audience.

So we’ve asked why, we’ve challenge the words straight up, and for some thoughts you can just accept it rather than fear it.

Oh I’m going to lose my breath.

Yeh you probably are. That’s ok. What’s the plan when that happens.

What about you take a pause, breathe in deep, grab a sip of water and continue.

So often our sabotaging thoughts are around what-ifs, what if this happens, what if that happens. Own it baby, this IS going to happen. Maybe it’s the PR person inside me, always preparing for the worst case scenario/ But isn’t it better to just expect things to happen and know what to do that to tie yourself up in knots over it.

When I do my live teaching – and you’ll see in My six week voie makeover. Yep I probably won’t say something as eloquently as I wanted to, Yeh we’ll probably have some type of tech go wrong, yeh I’ll stumble on my words, but I’ll just keep going. It doesn’t affect the barrage of value bombs I’m dsropping. And the outcomes I know I’m getting for people – that is mny focus. If I let those thougths dominate my mind, it would you guessed it, simply sabotage my speaking.

In week one of My Six Week Voice Makeover, I challenge you to unravel these thoughts and the group helps you along the way, and of course I’m there too. You’ll have journal prompts, a plan to set up your mindset exercise regime and best of all I go live on Facebook twice a week and you can ask me your questions live.

Mindset is the area most of my clients report having that a-ha moment, that I never thought it that way moment, that Oh my gosh I can’t believe I’ve been letting that hold me back moment.

I’ve had those moments and when it comes to speaking and confidence I want you to experience those moments too.

Make sure your name is list for  My Six Week Voice Makeover.

And hey, I almost forgot – HAVE A WONDERFUL FESTIVE SEASON!

I’m heading down to Tasmania to see my family – including my two nieces Isabella and Hannah and my nephew Samuel, I cannot wait.

Stay safe and Stay tuned, Another episode of That Voice Podcast is heading your way next Monday.

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