90. What's your speaking why?
What's the point of your speaking? In this episode I’m going to unpack WHY it’s helpful to know your speaking WHY. And how you can use that information to overcome barriers and speak with more intention, confidence and impact.
Transcript
Hello, hello. Welcome to Episode 90 of That Voice Podcast and the last episode for season five. What's your speaking why?
I'm going all Simon Sinek on you. And it's one of the first questions I tend to ask my clients. Why? I have to speak at this event. Why? I should make more face-to-camera Instagram stories. Why? I want to sound less Bogan. Why?
In this episode, I'm going to unpack why it's helpful to know your speaking why. And how you can use that information to overcome barriers and speak with more intention, confidence, and impact.
But first, I wanted to give you the heads up. Come September 1, September 1, 2021, pretty much all my services and rates are getting a rejig and a refresh. I'm so excited for it. I'm letting you know, because I know a lot of you who listened to the podcast have working with me on your list. And I don't want you to be caught off-guard on September 1 when the new rates and packages hit my website. So if you've been thinking about Members Only, now is the time. If you've been thinking about working with me, one-on-one-- that's journos, professionals, and business owners, now is the time. If you've been thinking about My Six Week Voice Makeover, make sure you are on that waitlist, e-mail me directly if you're not sure. And of course as mentioned last week, my new course, Speak from your soul is getting closer. So make sure you're on the waitlist for that one, too. And my website is sallyprosser.com.au. Don't forget the au.
Okay, cool. Let's dive into the final episode of season five. And this is the big finale episode question. What's your speaking why. We hear a lot about going back to your why, going back to your purpose, but you may not have heard it applied to speaking. It's important because if we don't have a clear why, we'll never commit to something, let alone do a great job of it. Now there's a model in psychology I learned in leadership training when I was at my corporate PR job about the rider, the path and the elephant, and it's really stuck with me. It was first put forward by a man called Jonathan Hart.
It's really a great way to describe the power of why.
You're a behavioral psychologist, I do apologize. I'm not using the exactly the correct terminology here. So first of all, let's start with the path. The path is the environment. So you might want to speak at an event, but you can't because of lockdown. Or you might want to make more social videos, but not have a mobile phone or access to the internet. You might desperately want to do a webinar, but wake up with, I don't know, laryngitis. So these are the external things that prevent us from doing what we want. The rider on the elephant can't get through if the path is totally overgrown. So getting our environment set-up for speaking is super helpful. It's a question you should definitely ask yourself before any type of speaking. Is my environment set up for success? A good quick example of this one is lots of people hunched over in their wardrobe to record a podcast. But what you gain in audio quality, you tend to lose in voice quality because you're all hunched over and you can't breathe properly or gesture naturally. Okay? So that's the path, the environment.
Now we have the rider, our rational mind, our intention. The part that says, I have to speak at this event. I should do more Instagram reels or TikToks. I need to be a good public speaker. I want to learn how to use my voice better. Great, awesome. That's what gets you Googling articles and signing up to courses and coaching. And this is already where we can start to do some reframes. So not "I have to", "I should do", or "I need to", but "I get to", "I get to speak at this event". Going in with gratitude. And little prompts like this, bring us to what we really need to move. The elephant.
The rider can be all ready and raring. The path is perfectly clear, but if the elephant doesn't want to walk, you ain't going nowhere. I'm aware that it's anywhere. I was just going with the accent there. Okay. So the elephant, you might've guessed is our emotional side, our motivation. You know, we won't do anything unless we feel emotionally compelled to do it. We know this is true. We all have a list of things we need to get around to, but the things we actually do are the ones we want to in our heart. The ones we have a clear why on a clear purpose. And the reframe I mentioned earlier, can help get you there. You know, replacing, "I have to with" "I'd get to" coming from a place of gratitude, as well as simply just continuing to ask Why? Why do you want to speak at this event? To share your ideas or research? Why? Because the audience will get from those ideas or information? You know, why do you want to speak more confidently on camera? Is that because you want to feel good about approaching the media? Why do you want to do that? Because it'll grow your profile. Okay. Why do you want to do that? It'll grow your business or advance your career? Why does that matter? Because you want to step into your full potential, make a greater impact on people's lives, maybe change people's lives for the better?
So you see that by digging down into the why, you can find that emotional motivation for doing it and doing it well. You know, you're much more likely to apply yourself to learning media spokesperson skills if you're anchored by the feeling that you're stepping up to that microphone to make people's lives better with the gifts you've been given. And your voice is the channel you're using to make that change. You know, all the technical tips and tricks about using key messages and answering tricky questions, they come a lot easier on that foundation of the reason you're doing it. You're speaking why. You know, through this process, you might find that you don't want to do something. And that's a question I run sometimes, too, actually. You know, if a client says, "Oh, I have to speak at this conference. I'm freaking out. I don't want to do it."
I say, "Well, no, you don't have to. Like, you're an adult. You can pretty much do whatever you want and you don't have to do anything." Then I usually get the "Oh, but you know, it's a good opportunity. And yeah, a lot of my peers will be there." And... "A ha! So you want to do this?"
And look, the fact that they've booked in coaching is a surefire sign. They do want to do it. Actually, one of my clients said she booked in the sessions to ensure she didn't pull out of the opportunity.
And yes, I do my darndest to try to tease out what that emotional motivation is for people. What gets that elephant moving? Because at the end of the day, you know, all the practical tips and tricks and strategies and techniques and exercises. All of that, won't get the transformation without that deep fire in the belly, that reason for doing it, that speaking why. And you can see this why with a lot of my podcast guests, actually. In Episode 82, Ali Davenport explains how she wanted to go for a CEO role. And she knew she needed to overcome her fear of public speaking to do that back in Episode 52, Lisa Burke explained how speaking at her wedding was the motivation. And actually I hear lots of stories of people facing their speaking fear for the first time at social events, like weddings, birthdays, and funerals, because of that emotional motivation to show up for their loved ones. So next time you have a speaking opportunity that you're a bit hesitant about, grab your pen and write Why? and go for gold. If you can unlock your speaking why, you'll find so many of those mental barriers will just melt away.
So that's it for, what's your speaking why. And that's it for season five of That Voice Podcast. I want to extend a huge, huge, thank you. That sounded quite formal, didn't it? I want to extend, I want to say a big thank you for listening and supporting the podcast. Without you, it would not be a thing. I'm taking a couple of weeks off and then I have something quite exciting in store for you as we roll into episode 100. If that's not a reason to pop the bubbles, I do not know what is! So use the next couple of weeks to catch up on any missed episodes, and I'll be back very soon. And remember, jump in to Members Only one-to-one coaching and get on the waitlist for my courses before September 1. Bye!