229. The wisdom of women's voices
I have a book recommendation for you: Finding My Voice - The wisdom of women by Jo Smyth.
In this episode I chat to Jo about this wonderful book, including -
📖 How Finding My Voice was never the intended title and how it came about.
📖 Why we need to share women's stories.
📖 The challenges of using her own voice to promote the book.
📖 And what she'd say to anyone who says 'I don't have a story.'
Get your copy of FINDING MY VOICE here - https://findingmyvoice.com.au/
Transcript
Welcome to Episode 229 of That Voice Podcast. Today, you'll meet a beautiful client of mine who actually credits our voice work together as being the catalyst for an amazing book she's published. It's called “Finding My Voice - The wisdom of women”. And it's a beautiful collection of stories that reflect the unique experience of women. I'll link to the book in the show notes, go and grab yourself a copy. The author and our guest is the wonderful Jo Smyth. In this episode, we speak about how the book came about, how it felt for these women to share their vulnerable stories in black and white for all the world to see and how Jo is courageously using her voice to now promote the book.
If you have a story and you've got that little knock inside, that little whisper saying, Share it, get in touch. Soul speakers will give you all the tools you need and you can apply for Soul Speakers Advanced, which is where I co-write the keynote speech with you and we develop a strategy for you to get it out there on stage. Before I introduce Jo, quick point. I don't know what was going on with my audio in this episode. I sound like I'm a little bit underwater. Luckily, Jo does most of the talking, so hopefully it's not too distracting for you. And now I'd like to read an excerpt from the Fore of Jo's book to set the scene:
"I came from a generation where children were raised to be seen and not heard. A time when women like my mother and grandmother defied societal norms and forged their own paths when women simply didn't. Like many women, I've wondered what it means to find my voice, to be brave, to step forward with the courage of women who went before. We often hear the voice of women who have made it and we've read the stories of the successful women, the famous or the well-known women. But what about the rest? What about the ordinary woman who has walked a path before us, the woman who has had life experiences that many of us might share? And what about the women who are having life experiences right now but feel that they're alone on their journey, that no one has walked their path, that they have no voice? There is solace in the shared experiences of others that finding your voice is not a destination, but a continuous evolution shaped by the seasons of life and the people we encounter along the way. Sometimes our voices resonate with bravery while other times they falter. Yet in the act of sharing our stories, we find strength, connection, and empowerment. Finding My Voice shares the wisdom of women. These are the women we don't know and yet we know them well. Women who have found their voice and women who are finding their voice and how that knowledge helped them to redefine their futures. My hope is that in listening to the wisdom of women, helping women find their voice and tell their story, that every word we write together will see another woman find her voice and realize her potential.”
Sally:
Jo Smyth, welcome to That Voice Podcast.
Jo:
Thank you. Thanks for having me.
Sally:
I'm holding up in the video. I know you can't see if you're listening. Joe's wonderful book called Finding My Voice. So of course with a title like that, it absolutely piqued my interest. Why did you write this book?
Jo:
I think that's a great question to start with. I never really had write a book on my to-do list, but I went to a women's experience back in 2022 in Fiji, which was such a beautiful place to be surrounded by, you know, 50 or 60 women that were there to connect, do some business stuff. And you know, obviously, you know, all good things happened with cocktails at the pool bar and conversations with amazing women and there were just such fabulous stories happening in, in this space. And one of the women there was running a writer's workshop. So I went with my friend who was also there 'cause she wanted to write a book and I just went to keep her company. And we all had a task to do as part of the workshop, which was, if you didn't have a book topic to write, write a love letter to somebody.
Jo:
That's kind of how it started. I'm like, Oh, I'd write a love letter to my mother, but what would I write? I'm like, oh, I wonder what she would write to me. And it kind of just went from there and it's like, Wow, I bet my mom's got some stories that she could tell. And then I was sort of looking around the room and I thought, all these women here, and I bet they've got stories to tell as well. I wonder if we could capture some of these stories and put them together. And 'cause we always think that the thing that we're going through or the thing that we're experiencing or the life path that we take, we often think that we are the only person doing that. Divorce grief, having kids, you know, not having kids, having a new job, changing careers, all that sort of stuff.
Jo:
We often think that we're the only person doing that. And I think to be able to connect with another woman who might be having that similar experience who can say, Oh, I understand what that feels like or It's gonna be okay, it's not always gonna feel like this or Well done!, and be a cheerleader and go, Awesome. Go, There, be brave. Like, you know, step into that path. I just thought to be able to connect some people together would be just beautiful. The stories in the book, they're not sort of just all from women of my age who think we know stuff, but you know, our youngest woman in the book is 17 and our oldest is 86. It's been incredibly beautiful to do it.
Sally:
Yeah. And so beautiful to read. Did you call it Finding My Voice because you feel like women's voices are not often heard and women's stories are not as often shared?
Jo:
It was originally called a Love Letter to My Mother, but from the first story to the last, you know, the direction, not, not so much has changed, but sort of grew and developed and matured along the way. And after the first couple of interviews it just became a lot more about women sharing their story and women using their voice. It just kind of came out in one of the conversations was like, you know, So when did you think you found your voice? And, and that sort of became then the working title of it, which then sort of became, you know, the title. It just became really obvious in the first couple of stories that women sharing their voice and women sharing their story in this way was just so incredibly powerful for that person. And a lot of the women in this book have not shared those stories before and certainly have not shared them publicly.
Sally:
Yeah. And what was the response that you saw in these women's like faces and bodies and voices once they'd shared this story?
Jo:
For a lot of the women, there was a bit of a sense of relief. But what I discovered. It's one thing to have a story that you tell. So, you know, you and I can sit, we can share a story 'cause you know, we've known each other a little bit and I feel comfortable to do that. It's another thing to do something like this and share it on a podcast, you know, which is kind of like, Oh wow, you know, what might people think of that? It's a whole other thing to write it down and read it back to yourself. And it's a whole other thing to put it in a book and send it out to the world. And so for many women it was, it's time for me to tell this story. It's something that people know about or my family knows about.
Jo:
Or for some women, when they saw their story written and sent back to them, they weren't comfortable or confident yet to send it out into the world. So we interviewed more than 45 women, but quite a few women preferred to keep their story to themself for the moment. Which was totally fine because it's, it's a lot to say yes to a podcast 'cause you get all nervous. It's a lot to say, yes, I'm gonna tell my story and see what happens to it. For a lot of women, it was a lot of courage that they tapped into and perhaps for many of them it was courage that they needed to demonstrate, which was really beautiful to see.
Sally:
Was there a particular story that stood out to you?
Jo:
It's one woman who actually said, if you don't listen to the whisper, it becomes a shout and you can't ignore the shout. That I reckon stood out for me because we do, we let the whisper, we sit and we go, It's okay. It's all right. We'll just do this thing. We'll just do that thing. That one quote I think really stood out for me and that really resonated across all the stories with all the women. And I think that's why a lot of women said yes is because they've had the whisper. And now it was time to put the words out there.
Sally:
Yeah. And I know it's so hard to choose. Is there one that you are able to give us a bit of an overview on?
Jo:
I mean, we opened the story, the book with Amy, who is Amy's a young woman, probably mid twenties. Amy was an elite Australian champion, figure skater, and she talks about the impact of body image, particularly in women's sport, particularly in a sport like that. And it was interesting when I asked Amy, Would you like to be in this incredibly special book? She said, yes. I asked her at the book launch, Why did you say yes? 'cause We did a bit of a interview. I said, Tell me why you said yes. She said, well, I was, I was in your pool, three glasses of wine down the traps. And I was kind of like a captive audience, so you know, I said yes. I'm like, No, please. You know, she said she's been working on her own sense of self and she felt it was an important story to tell.
Jo:
You know, we've got other stories in here dealing and navigating families and obligations to family that women carry. Some beautiful stories in here about young women navigating their gender identity and sexuality and what that means. And my mom's in here talking about, you know, her life of service, charitable work that she's done for her whole life, and how a small win in tax lotto, which wasn't really a small win, it was quite a big win has not just shifted her life, but the lives of the people that she's been supporting. So that was really beautiful. I mean, there's all sorts in here. There's a woman in here whose husband committed suicide, and she talks about that, what that did to her and her family. There's just so much. Catherine rescued the women's soccer team and brought them out to Australia and took them out of a war torn-country and bought them in their family. I mean, there's, and every single one of these women just said to me, every one of them said, Oh, I don't really have a story that's worth telling. And I'm like, sit down.
Sally:
I've heard that a few times.
Jo:
Sit down, I've got some questions for you. Exactly right. When you asked me would you be on this podcast? I'm like, oh, I don't have anything to say. And then I reflected on some of our earlier conversations when we first met, and you're like, you absolutely have something to say. And so here we are.
Sally:
Jo, I know, I know I invited you, but it was kind of like a demand. If you had have said no, I would've been like let's have a chat about this.
Jo:
I got your email. And I'm like, Oh my God. I was in the car. And my husband's like, what? What? I'm like, can you believe this? Sally just invited me to be on her podcast? So this is like, I've hit rockstar status now. Like I was so I am like, My God, should I reply straight away or should I just like, you know, take a minute and not be like, you know, some crazy stalker? And yes, I'm in, we all have something to say, which was the very first thing that you said to me, right? Remember, when people ask you to do something or speak about something, it's because you have something to say. And I know my response when you first said that to me all those years ago, I was like, Well, I don't have anything to say. I just, you know, but over time and learning from you and learning from the things that you talk about and the things that you share, partly that's how we got to the book.
Jo:
'Cause Women have stories. I was reading somebody else's book over the Christmas break. It's by an author called Jodi Picoult. I don't know if you, I love Jodi Picoult's work. Anyway, it'sOcalled By Any other Name. And there's a quote in there, and I wrote it down this morning. It says, When women's stories aren't told, it suggests Women's Lives Don't Matter. Page 224 of this book that's like, I don't know, like 900 pages or something. And I was like, Wow, I could have just put the book down there. And like, that was just, that is why I created Finding My Voice.
Sally:
Yeah, it's the crux of why you wrote this book, and it's the foundation of why I do so much of the work I do as well.
Jo:
Absolutely. Yeah.
Sally:
So Jo, I'm so proud of you. I'm so glad all those words I shared so many years ago are still resonating because you've told all of these other stories, but then you needed to use your voice to go out there and promote the book.
Jo:
Yeah, most of the time I'm really good at confidently standing up in front of people and talking about the book. And then there's moments where people ask me questions like, Oh, that's, I don't know that I recognized it at the time, but it's been a really deeply personal journey. I think the most nerve wracking bit was, you know, the first social media post when the book actually turned up and they're in my garage in boxes and I'm like, oh my God, they're here. And we put the first post out and then, you know, 80 people turned up to the book launch in Melbourne. And my husband said to me, he said, You do realize that every person came for you. I said, What do you mean? He goes, well, no one's read the book yet, right, because they only just picked up their copies on the night. And I'm like, Well, that, you know, made me feel very overwhelmed. But people came for that and they came to hear the stories.
Sally:
And being so incredibly personal. You know, you've done the book launches also in New Zealand, so it's in an international book launch. Has there been a particularly difficult question that's come in, or has there been a moment where you've felt shaky? What's been the most challenging part?
Jo:
Like, I have a responsibility to these women to take this book out into the world beautifully. Selling copies of the book is important because people get to read the stories, but selling copies of the book is not important for my bank account. That's not the purpose. So I have a deep personal connection, responsibility, I think maybe is the right word, to the women in the book, so that their stories go and become their legacy and become something that helps and connects to another person, which can feel a bit overwhelming. The proceeds from the book are all going to an organization here in Melbourne called Ready Set, who helps people get back on track and helps 'em find jobs and employment, which is really important in terms of a person's agency and how they show up. So I feel like I've asked 44 women to show up in a beautiful way, and that is my challenge now, is to take that and honor that
Sally:
And show up for them. Yeah, it's like that double-edged sword of the pressure of these deeply personal stories and doing them justice, but also it's the privilege of the advocacy that you now get to go out and amplify those voices in the book.
Jo:
Yes, yes. And, and I'm super conscious of every time we put something out in social media that it's not, it's not taking somebody's words from here. I mean, it's easy to pick a quote out of a book and send it out to the world and say, here's a quote, you know, #buycopy. When I'm sharing stuff out in socials and out in, you know, different places where I'm talking about the book, it's sharing it in a way that is meant to connect with somebody else. There is a responsibility that comes with that. And to do it respectfully and to do it beautifully and to honor those words that people have shared generously.
Sally:
Yeah, it's such a great read and we'll definitely share the links to get a copy of this book.
Jo:
Yes, please buy a copy.
Sally:
They do, and we are all stronger. The more that we hear other women's stories, the more that we share our own, the more that we strengthen that sisterhood. I really believe that this is really powerful work to help raise women's voices all across the world. What would you say to a woman, it's funny, it's actually what you said to me the first time we met, but what would you say to a woman who says, Oh, I don't think I have a story.
Jo:
Everybody has a story. I think if you've got a story that you wanna share, write it down. It doesn't need to be polished, it just needs to be yours. We all have something to share. And you think about a girl's night out and the things you come away with from that, and you go, Wow, that was amazing. I feel so inspired. You know.
Sally:
There's probably some stories in my life that I think will be kept in the cone of silence until my last day.
Jo:
And there's probably a whole lot that should be kept to the code of silence in our lives and in our stories. But, but there's stuff that we go through that I think it's important to share because if it just helps one other person, particularly another woman, know that someone else has done that and it's come out okay, and I can draw some strength from that, then, then that's a good thing.
Sally:
Yeah, the particular set of facts for each story may be different, but the emotions that are experienced around it are very universal.
Jo:
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And it's not easy to do. It's easy to sit around over a coffee and share. It's not easy to put it down in words, and it's not easy to send it out into the world. So if you have a story that you think you wanna share, just tap into some courage and just do it. You know, if you don't share it, then to that, that quote, the story's not told, does that mean that your story doesn't matter? That your life doesn't matter? Does matter? Tell the stories.
Sally:
Oh, amazing. Jo, is there anything else you'd like to add?
Jo:
This has been a beautiful opportunity, and thank you for inviting me to the podcast.
Sally:
My absolute pleasure and privilege. The book is called “Finding My Voice - The wisdom of women”. I'll be sharing all of those links to get your hands on a copy in the show notes. Jo Smyth, thank you so much for coming on That Voice Podcast.
Jo:
Awesome. Thank you so much for having me.