147. Prepare to get TRIGGERED!

Trigger Warning! In this episode Sally outlines the role of triggers in your public speaking experience and how to flip the script on triggers to use them to your advantage.

Transcript

Hello hello – prepare to get triggered!

Does the title of this episode make you feel curious?

Why would you prepare to get triggered?

Here’s the thing.

When we say something triggers us, it’s usually a bad thing.

It’s something we experience that ignites a negative emotion in us.

Like frustration or anger or sadness unease panic.

I used to be super triggered by public displays of affection.

Like get a room, take your happy loved up disgustingness away from my line of sight.

Needless to say it was a time in my life deep down I was craving a loving relationship.

What else?

In the past I was triggered by people who didn’t watch the news.

It’s so funny I’m so different now. I used to think how ignorant, not to even know what’s going on around you.

These examples are super minor. Certain triggers can send the body into full shutdown, full panic and you’re listening to this you might be thinking about.

What triggers you? Can be something you see, smell, sound.

I remember my grandfather would dive on the floor of the living room when he heard the shark partol helicopter go past. He lived on the south coast of new south wales. That sound sent him straight back to the battlefield.

What causes something deep within you to bubble up to the surface or explode without warning.

And this is the great thing about triggers – they are invitations to do inner work. An invitation to heal. To dive into the depths of our emotions.

Of course when I was triggered by PDA’s that was before much self-development it was an invitation to start the journey of healing the wounded feminine, the butchered feminine really. Actually the changes I’ve made in my life around realising the internal misogyny and the level of masculinity I was expressing and celebrating and moving into my feminine, celebrating actual feminine qualities and giving space for Patrick to step into the masculine. Woah it has honestly been life changing – and if you’d like an episode on this, please msg me on Instagram and let me know, because I know it’s not my usual speaking content. But it does come up with clients quite a lot. Pretty much any issues in any romantic relationship come down to this balance of feminine and masculine energy being out of whack. For me mind-blowing, life changing.

Ok back to triggers.

So we experience something – through our five senses. We see it, hear it, taste it, touch it, smell it and we filter it through our own beliefs and memories. We’re like computer programs. We operate on a loop. We are creatures of habit. Which is why breaking a bad habit is a reprogramming process right. We all intellectually know what we want to do. Thinking Oh I want to go to the gym more is a long way from our body actually getting there regularly, unless you’re already in the habit of it.

So a trigger is kind of like a technical glitch. Something enters our awareness and the computer goes yep been here before didn’t like it and bang we are mentally and physiological in those emotions of that original event.

And if you’re scared of public speaking, this is exactly what’s happening. Something about the environment tells you you’re back in an awful situation and like the flick of a switch it sets of anxiety, fear, physical pain in the body.

And this is why I always say if you’re scared of speaking. It’s not the speaking itself, it’s the scenario it’s wrapped in. And this is what I work through with my clients is getting to the bottom of what is it that triggers you. Is it the audience? Is it the stage? Is it the microphone? Is it because your bosses face reminds you of a snarky teacher you had when you were younger? What is it that you’re seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting that is triggering this awful wave of emotion.

You might consciously know what it is. Is it that horrible uni presentation where you forgot your words and peed your pants. If you can remember the scenario – great – we have processes to go back and change that picture in your timeline, remove the trigger altogether.

If you don’t remember, totally common, there are processes to explore that and get clarity on where it comes from.

Because I’ve worked with so many people in this area, I can confidently say.

It is often a pattern formed in childhood around not being heard, not having their voice valued, speaking up and being laughed at, so feelings of shame and humiliation, experiences that formed limiting beliefs around not being smart enough, not being good enough, not being worthy of being part of the conversation.

And if this is bringing up something for you.

Here it is, that beautiful invitation to do the healing. Yay! This is transformational stuff, the trigger is like the guiding light to tell us where to unpick the knot, and once it is free, so too are you. Ah it’s the most beautiful release and relief.

Ok back to the title of this episode, Prepare to get triggered.

Triggers come in all shapes and sizes. They affect everyone differently. They can come from big T traumas, big events like fainting in front of thousand of people or little t traumas, a series of events where you were ridiculed or judged maybe.

Think about what triggers you? I’ll link it to speaking .. it is That Voice Podcast. Is it seeing a sea of faces looking at you? Is it hearing total silence? Is it smelling paper? Is it touching a microphone?

Because here’s the magic. If what we perceive through our five senses can catapult us into a tailspin of negative emotions, then what we perceive through our five senses can catapult us into our most confident, powerful amazing speaking selves.

So use triggers to your advantage.

You know how the smell of saltwater in summer brings memories of Christmas – you can tell I’m a southern hemisphere beach babe.

What about a certain perfume that takes you straight to a time in your life. Impulse ALIVE, in the green bottle, takes me straight back to Friday night roller skating when I was a kid.

A beautiful food that reminds you of mum’s cooking.

Think about all those things that trigger happy emotions.

So use triggers to your advantage in a similar way when it comes to speaking.

Let’s replace that rubbish experience from the past that is hijacking your potential in the future.

Refuse to live as a prisoner of your thoughts. Hostage to a dysregulated nervous system.

Because the truth is, everybody has gone through shit.

It’s just about deciding whether you want that shit to be the reason you get what you want or the reason you don’t.

And this technique is beyond thinking, which is why it actually works.

It ignites your senses. Your thinking may struggle to override your physical senses. You need some next level enlightenment techniques to outthink your body.

And this is what my online course Fear to Fierce will really help you do.  It takes you through a bunch of exercises to create positive triggers or anchors is a better word. Anchor yourself for success. I’ll put that link in the shownotes.

Let’s start with what you are seeing?

And this is where anecdotes like imagine the audience is naked come into play, because we can visualise whatever we want.

Exercises like the personal metaphor in Fear to Fierce are magic for giving you a fast visual to put you in your personal power.

Think about what you can literally see as well.

What outfit are you wearing? Get up on stage before you speak to see what it looks like beforehand. Set up your workspace with mantras and colours to make you feel great.

What are you hearing?

What’s the pep talk you’re telling yourself. If you haven’t got your own, download my Pep Talks in your Pocket – it’s totally free – and the audio tracks are a great example of how you can use your auditory senses to feel great. It goes back to emotions right. We want to trigger feelings of confidence and motivation and love and gratitude – you go into a speaking gig with those emotions – that energy in motion – woah watch out.

Then what are you smelling?

I have an essential oil blend which I always smell before speaking. It’s like peppermint and sweet orange. Peppermint and spearmint are particularly good for communication. Smell is so closely linked to memory and so one sniff of that – totally legal, totally healthy and it snaps me into performance mode.

It triggers me to be ready.

See how you start building this up and you create an army for success. You bring on every one of your senses to make magic.

There’s touch.

Do you have a lucky charm you feel? I have my lip shaped stress balls which work for this. Is there a fabric your like to wear because of how beautiful it feels?

What’s left. Taste.

YES, so I like to have raspberry tea. No other reason than I like the taste, I’ve also heard it’s good for period pain, though I must say I haven’t experience any period pain for as long as I can remember. I’m very fortunate.

Ok getting off track.

So to recap.

The speaking itself is not the trigger for freakouts, for nerves, anxiety, panic, FEAR.

It’s something in the speaking scenario that you’re receiving through your senses that triggers those emotions.

Doing personal development work, like working with a specialised coach in the area, will assist you to explore exactly what those triggers are and use processes to release the stuck emotion and change the way you experience the triggering event.

In conjunction with this, or if you’re not ready to invest in the healing yet, you can create a toolbox of positive triggers, happy anchors. Things that ignite your senses to feel amazing.

Remember you’ve got the Pep Talks in your pocket you can download for free.

My online course Fear to Fierce is a great low cost option to get you going on creating your personal happy anchors. Exercises like creating your personal metaphor, your letter to fear, your signature moves, phrases to speak your truth and declare your intention. I’d highly recommend this. I include it for all my private clients, because it does provide the foundations for real powerful authentic hell yes this is me style speaking.

Check it out in the show notes.

And get out there and prepare to be TRIGGERED in the best possible way.